Moment of truth

I am diagnosed with adhd (inattentive type) and will start on a course of Ritalin for 2 weeks before the next review.

Doctor said my IQ and coping mechanism – with routine and structures in life was essential in getting where I am now. I reckon my life would be thrown in disarray and self sabotage without such regime and self imposed habits.

Many adhd patients suffered from underachieving in life and getting ostracized, as such depression and anxiety naturally set in as well, complicating the matter.

I usually feel worn out typically after two years of work or school, and things start to pile or thrown into disarray and i’ve to exit and restart again. It frustrates me to no end.

However, at the same time I feel blessed in a way that I don’t have a cushy family background to fall back on so the only way I had is to carry on or perhaps I may somehow spend so much time alone since young that I develop self awareness and a strong mindset to keep the inattention at bay (for a short period tho).

Anyways, if it will take me a long while to complete a goal in life eg. FI compared to peers, so be it, I will preserve on without beating myself over it. Every small milestone is a win worth celebrating. I never will be the majority – I sing a different tune with my own song.

For now, I’ll observe what it is to have a neurotypical mind with medication. If the cost benefit is more than 20%, I’ll consider a longer term treatment.

The greatest gift in life is a healthy mind and body.

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